Count your blessings. Here is me with mine. Very Merry Christmas to all !

If this is a time of giving for you, may I ask you to receive a gift from me. I'll give you a blessing. Not one of our kids, but a message from Benny Hill (the comedian from the 50's).
"Roses are reddish violets are blueish - If it wasn't for Christmas we would all be Jewish."
He was so right. Jesus is the difference.

TARCEVA !

What is Tarceva ?
insect larvae? - a comic book hero? - a small Greek Island ? - no - no - and no. Tarceva is one of the names of the new chemo drug that I will be switching to. The other name is Erlotinib. Yes, we are in a time of transition with the treatment of lung cancer. The CT Scan from last week showed cancer still growing in my liver. So that's what we got to do - whack the tumours in the liver. The last treatment of cetuximab was on Dec. 5 and I will start treatments with Tarceva on Dec. 28. It is a pill that I will take every day for 30 days.There will be a CT booked towards the end of the 30 days to mark the progress (please pray here). As it stands now, I will not be receiving chemo drug treatments from Dec. 5 to Dec. 28 while we switch the drugs. A nice break. The change over time gives my skin a chance to recover, because guess what a possible side effect is from Tarceva - skin rash. Ha ha ha , that's funny. Not really. Actually, the old drug and the new drug are similar in many ways except Tarceva attacks the cells from the inside of the cell. How ? It just does. TARCEVA!! to the liver tumours and beyond !

Lung Cancer Support Group

The Lung Cancer Support Group meets at the BCCA on the last Wednesday of every month. The group is the first ever in Vancouver and has only met 3 times. It brings together people with lung cancer and people supporting others with the disease. We are all so different. We come from different backgrounds, we are different ages and we are in different stages of the disease and treatment. But, I believe we all have so much in common. Fear, suffering, the need for support and the desire to help others. Not that we talk about it openly (yet).
With each person at a different place in their treatment, questions and insights on topics discussed vary. One fellow is quite candid with what he has to say, "Side effects? Everything I eat tastes awful. I'm losing weight." He is about 80 years old and he was accompanied by one of his daughters. I get the feeling from something he said, that cancer has changed him. What he said was so simple and sincere, "Love one another." Hearing that from this hard old man brought me to tears.
There is a woman who finished treatments 18 months ago and is now enjoying an early retirement. She is living with only one lung (as is another younger guy in the support group). The retiree shared from her perspective, how important a positive attitude was to her healing. She referred to herself as a cancer survivor and someone said that we are all cancer survivors. That's when the hard old man said "We don't let the non-survivors in." We all laughed heartily.
The topic for last weeks meeting was - How do we cope with cancer? I'll quote the hard old man "It's just another challenge for me to face and deal with."
I'm different from the general population in the support group because I have an appetite and don't feel nausea too badly. I have a serious skin rash (which is now causing swelling in my legs). Hows the rash? You may ask. It's ... kind of ... like ... um ... AHHHHHHHHHH! Get this skin off of me !
So, if you ask me that same question and you get a different answer, chances are that I'm being socially aware. Which is a good thing.
The ongoing saga of Meekings and ICBC has a development. We have replaced one van with a 2003 Mazda MPV. Jody and I are pleased with the purchase. As soon as the snow clears we will be back at it, hunting for a 2nd car. Please pray for the rash and the car.

Moving on

So both vans were written off by ICBC. Now the hunt begins for replacement vehicles. They are out there somewhere in the world of craigs list and the buy & sell. We need to find the right machine at the right price from the right people. Mean while cancer does not wait for us to engage it. We need to maintain vigilance in prayer and wisdom of response. The last thing Dr. Ho did for us before she left for her maternity leave was to postpone the chemo treatment from last week to let me catch up on dealing with the rash. That, along with antibiotics seemed to work, the rash settled down enough for me to appreciate a sense of well being for the time being as a human being. Write a comment at let me know how you are being.

Not a Chemo Moment - A Distraction?!!

This has nothing to do with my treatment or anything to do with cancer. However, the guy who is at the center of this event is letting his handicap show. Just an hour after falling asleep on Thursday night Jody and I were jolted awake by the sound of a serious car crash. It happened on our street just outside our window. It was a big one. The kind where you think someone has been hurt. My first response was just that, I need to do first aid. I was out of bed and put on my son's shoes that were left at the top of the stairs (I tell him not to leave his shoes there at least once a week!) Then I went out on the street to see how I could help. As I left I called to Jody to bring the phone, she was 45 seconds behind me. That 45 second head start put me on the sidewalk just in time to see a sharply dressed young couple walking along. As they passed me, he slurred his question that identified his present state of mind, "Did you see that?" in a boyish excitement. I said, "No, I was asleep in bed." They seemed to be in a hurry to go up the street and I was anxious to see inside the wrecks that were in front of my house to count the injured. I shined my flashlight in the F350 Pick-up truck no one there. I shined my flashlight in the 91 Jetta which was under the F350. No one there either. Then it occured to me as I watched the two turn the corner onto Larch St. they were the driver & passenger of the truck.
We all have to live with our own decisions and we have to live with the decisions that other people make. Some people may decide to use the other vehicles at the side of the road to keep their big truck on the road. This actually happened. The driver caused damage to 12 vehicles parked along 2 blocks of our street. Of the 12, 3 were damaged quite significantly. 2 of those were ours. Then, the next decision this driver had to make was where to park the truck. He found a spot on top of the Jetta on the boulevard. The police helicopter and canine unit found the couple six blocks away.
Later, we were informed that his license had been revoked previously. Wonder if the truck is stolen? Any insurance? He was also definitely intoxicated.
I am praying for this fellow. that he would now start to make smart decisions. And what about that girlfriend - if she sticks by him after this - he better be making very smart decisions.

This Wednesday, we will meet with our ICBC claim adjuster. Our vehicles are now in storage with ICBC and being inspected.
Please pray that the adjuster will make fair decisions on our behalf.

Here are some photos.

This is our Voyageur. My guess is that the F350 bounced off the back of it.

This is our Sienna with the front wheel of the F350 laying beside it. Why did the wheel fall off?

This is the Jetta under the pick-up.

Lung Cancer Education Day

November is Lung Cancer month. As part of this, some doctors who are connected with the BCCA, organized the Lung Cancer Education Day. Apparently, it took 2 years to put this event together. The day was very informative and beneficial. The people who shared their knowledge and experience were 2 respirologists, 2 oncologists, a radio oncologist, a thoracic surgeon, a dietition, 2 nurses and 2 lung cancer patients (one of which was me.) Yup, I had a gig on the weekend! My bit was important. Comic relief. Each one of the speakers was very informative but not so entertaining. I was asked to share my perspective on cancer treatments and the clinical trials. I tried to do that but there was just so much comedy that needed to be pointed out. People showed their appreciation with heart felt laughter and some asked when my next speaking engagement would be. We will just wait and see.
What I learned from the professionals was that they are looking to the studies and trials to teach them more. There is a derth of research being done on lung cancer because of a stigma. The old school thinking is lung cancer is caused by smoking so stop people from smoking and stop lung cancer. I don't smoke. The other patient who shared at the Education Day never smoked and was very cautious of second hand smoke. There is not much information out there on lung cancer. When you look at the statistics, lung cancer is more deadly than prostrate, colon, and breast cancer combined. Shocking. The nature of lung cancer is that it doesn't show symptoms until it is well advanced. I was in stage 4 when I was diagnosed. That means the lung is the primary site but there is cancer in other parts of the body. This is what makes it deadly. More research will help in early diagnosis.
One of the organizers of the event was one of the oncologists who spoke.This was Dr. Ho. If you have been reading my blog, you may remember Dr. Ho is my oncologist. She will be moving on to a higher calling within a couple of weeks. She will be missed at the clinic but we all understand that there is one person who needs her more. Happy parenting Dr. Ho.

CT results received October 30

The pleasure is mine to tell you of the results from the latest CT scan October 26. It's all clear as mud. Over all the cancer is stable. There are no signs of cancer in my brain. The tumour in my lung is dead and draining into my lung which is allowing me to cough this thing out. The liver has many tiny spots on it and two larger ones. Of the two, one they have been marking. This one is .5 cm bigger and the other one just looks bigger. I will continue taking chemo therapy once a week. However, I will be taking only one of the two drugs that have been part of the trial and have another CT in 6 weeks. Then we will see if things are better or worse. We will know which drug was working. Now we can see why it is called a trial or a study. Practising Oncology is all guess work. It has to be. How can any study account for the complete physiological make up of just one of God's creatures? There are just too many variables. Maybe a tulip or a bug but not a human being. Then there is the accounting for the human soul where He is with us. This power drives the the whole machine of body, mind and spirit. How can a study be able to track and interpret the data from this? That's why we study and make educated guesses. I am completely supportive of the BCCA and have a positive outlook for the future. My immediate plans are to allow God to heal me and the chemo to do it's work. My main concerns are the side effects which still continue. Like I said, clear as mud.

Just the Facts

Do you remember this TV cop show from 1967 ? Dragnet. Let's all chant the theme - Duumm Da Dum Dum. The beginning of each show they would say "These are actual events" and in the show they would always ask for "Just the facts."
I want to give just the facts of the actual events of my cancer treatments. I will start with the events since February. So here is the time line of our adventure. February 10th I began coughing up blood after playing hockey. February 12th we first saw the lung tumour on a chest xray. Dr. Miller (GP) called it a mass, a possible fungal growth. He referred us to Dr. Fera, a lung specialist who did a bronchoscopy and took photos. I have copies if you would like to see a tumour up close, just remind me next time you are over. Dr. Fera saw in me more than a lung infection so he referred us to Dr. Finlay, a thoracic surgeon who was to cut this thing out of me along with half or whole of my lung. A date was set, Monday March 5th. The surgery never happened because Dr. Finlay discovered from a CT scan that there were spots on my liver. He scheduled me for a liver biopsy. With the results in, Dr. Finlay confirmed I had cancer and referred us to the BCCA. On Thursday March 22 we met our oncologist, Dr. Ho. She had the initial job of telling Jody and I that the type of cancer I had was non small cell carcinoma in the 4th stage. Which means it was not curable but treatable cancer. This was a seriously crappy day. I did realize that something needed to be done and there wasn't time for whining. March 30 was the CT scan that revealed 3 brain tumours. Still yet, another crappy day. The upcoming chemo was put on hold and we were moved over to the radiation department of the BCCA. We met Dr. Grafton who set me up for 5 treatments to the brain. Once radiation treatments were completed we waited two weeks before we started the weekly chemotherapy of carboplatin and gemcitabine. April 14 was head shave day for me and my boys and a couple of neighbours, Kayla cut hers short. After one round the chemotherapy was interupted by the lung bleed of April 20. This was followed by 5 radiation treatments to the lung. A CT scan on May 25th revealed that the tumours were growing even during chemotherapy. June 2, I was given a three day course of I.V. antibiotics to treat an infection in my arm. (Probably from an I.V.) June 11, a bone scan showed no cancer in my bones. FIRST GOOD NEWS since February! We started the chemo trial of Pemetrexed (kills cancer cells) and Cetuximab (prevents cancer cell reproduction) on June 20. The rash of August began on the 1st. This slid into the pneumonia of '07 which I haven't totally kicked yet. The results of a CT scan from Sept 7 showed the lung tumour smaller, the brain tumours were undetectable and the liver tumours were .5cm smaller or as they said, stable. The next CT is on October 26 - I hope this good news continues. On October 17, I finished the Pemetrexed part of the trial. By November our "Trials" nurse and Dr. Ho, our oncologist will be on maternity leave. They have both been wonderfully supportive and very knowledgable. We will miss them both and hope we will have a good connection with their replacements. The side effects continue. I want to keep this rash under control. Please pray for the side effects to lessen and that we will have a healthy winter without the flu bug. I expect to be getting weekly chemo treatments of Cetuximab indefinatly as long as I am benefitting from it. These are just the facts of actual events.

Thanksgiving -turkey gratitude

Just think how it would be as the center of every one's admiring stares and the object of their desire. When they saw you they would say "Oh, beautiful!" or "My, that's one reason to be thankful." If they were talking about you, wouldn't you feel great about yourself ? These kind of comments would instill a sense of self confidence in you and encourage you to strive for your lofty dreams of a great fulfilling life. But, you are a turkey on a dinner table displayed for a thanksgiving holiday dinner. You're dead. You lived your life happily. Free ranged or production farmed or whatever, it's over. While you were alive your piers never noticed you being special for anything. Your food always tasted the same but you thankfully ate all you could. You did the same thing every day but were thankful when you found out that you still had another day to do it. Your caregivers noticed you only once and that was the last thing you remember. Somehow you still feel honoured to know - that is you, displayed with all the trimmings. You are elated to see that you are a big part of the celebrations. Actually, you are the center piece. You feel great. This is turkey gratitude.
What is people gratitude ? I will quote from the thanksgiving message to us at All Nations Christian Fellowship last Sunday. "Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift. It liberates us from the prison of self-preoccupation. Gratitude is the opposite of bitterness and complaining."
This bumps into my story. The good days and bad days of a roller coaster life with cancer.
Bad days - Self preoccupation. This is bitterness and complaining.
Good days - Life is a gift. This is gratitude.
I feel like I'm living a parable. The lesson is there for me to learn. I'm hearing it - am I understanding? I'm seeing it - am I perceiving?
I hope you all had a happy thanksgiving.

Roller Coaster

I have been trying to avoid this simile for some time now because I thought it was too cliche. It couldn't possibly describe what I'm experiencing. But, it is the image that best illustrates what I am trying to say on this day. Ups and downs. Good days and bad days. The tracks of the course that will be followed have been laid and hopefully securely fastened down by knowledgeable engineers and skilled craftsmen. There are no options for choosing another route once you are on the roller coaster. Each rider must simply hang on until the train pulls into the station where they can disembark with an experience to call their own. Emotional, physical, and spiritual ups and downs, this is a reality for me. Some days I mourn to be back in bed under the blankets until noon or later and find it easy to whine and complain about the slightest thing. (But I don't.) I end up slothing around in a fog trying to keep appearances up.- this is a down day. Other days I will have my world of family, friends, reading, writing, exercise and chores in order and I sail through the day. I'm effective! I have accomplishments - achievements! Yes, this is an up day. Same person, same circumstances just in two different realities.
At any one time, I could be living in one of two separate worlds. Each one just as real as the other. Each world is controlled by a central thought unique to it's origin. One world is based on the knowledge that I am loved by Him and He is easy to be loved. The other world is based on the thought "You stupid idiot! How could you have let this happen to you? Even if you do survive, you are going to screw the whole thing up."
Just as real. One assumes that The Author and Finisher of Life - The Creator of the Universe is in control. The other assumes that I'm in control. God is not trying to make himself more real. He is giving me the opportunity to decide for myself.
"I think to myself. What a wonderful world."

Another Ride

Before I start up and get it in gear to tell you about another ride I would like to continue a thought from the last blog entry. School is not the marks they give you - it is what you learn while you are there. I have been thinking about this since I was last in school in the 70's because I did it for 13 years of my life and was left wondering why. I wasn't given many marks but I do remember the overall experience being somewhat significant. Watch and listen and stuff will be learned. School lasts a life time.

Something was schooled into me recently while at the PNE. We saw the Peking Acrobats show. A performer did the stacking chairs routine. Nice. Strong and steady as she stacked 7 chairs. Then the handstand. Straight arm, of course. After the routine they stored the chairs just below the stage in front. As we were leaving the theatre I took a walk past the front of the stage. I learned that the chairs were made of solid hardwood and weighed at least 20 pounds each. Heavy things stacked are much more stable than light things stacked. I do a hand stand on 3 stacked chairs. My chairs are pine light and sometimes not so stable. This lesson's assignment is to build heavy chairs. Due date will be 2 months after I'm back on my hands again.
In the meantime I will face the school of life's tests and deal with the results when they come in.

Last Friday we had our 4th CT scan to test my response to the chemotherapy. The results are in. Tuesday we sat in with the oncologist Dr. Ho to get her take on the images. Here are the facts. In my head there was no sign of anything in the images from the scan. Just brain. No more brain tumours could mean no more errant thinking. I should be smarter now, I'm ready for a test. Anyone want to try me with a riddle or two ? The chest and liver have remained stable. The tumour in the liver has gone down by .5cm leaving it at 3.9cm. In the chest however, there is some other things happening. There is a touch of pneumonia in me. Considering my circumstances this could be very dangerous. But, it was caught early and we are treating it swiftly with rest, good food and 10 days of antibiotics. This causes me once again to take one week off from the chemotherapy.
With my new found brain power I'm expecting to finish any assignments from this lesson in the school of life on time and with positive results. I'm on another ride.

Today is the first day of the school year. The first of the last 11 first days that I will not be returning to my post as the K-12 drama teacher of the WCCS. The students of my family were definately excited to be going back at least for this first day. I am excited to hear of the changes that the new year brings to WCCS. Like who has who in their class. Who is teaching what to whom and where. "Where?" is always the question for the teachers dealing with the limited space WCCS has to offer. So it will be interesting for me to see what the solutions may be. Porch, park and parking garage were showing their classroom potential in previous years. We seemed to have at least survived and in some cases we may have succeeded.
My fall will be different this year - I'm the student - it will be chemo treatments once a week until we have no sign of cancer in me. I need to do my homework, hand in all my assignments on time and listen to the teacher, yes and listen to the teacher!

Well Wishes

Pitt Meadows Day 2007 was minus one clown and they were concerned enough to tell me about it by sending me this huge card that is signed by people from the festival. A gigantic Get Well card brought gigantic encouragement to me. Thank you people of Pitt Meadows. I also have a drawer full of regular sized Get Well cards with heart felt notes from many people to us.
The word courage is in encouragement for good reason. Thank you friends!
As of this week, August 17, I have missed two chemo treatments because of this skin rash. It's been a bad rash. So bad apparently that all the oncologists who looked at my rash (and were more than a few who saw it) said it is the most progressed that they have seen. I'm special, but not special enough to get any treatment. There was no one at the BCCA that was equipped or experienced enough to give me bandages - I wish I had a photograph of my face when they were telling me this because I'm sure that my overall countenance projected my thoughts which were not nice and definately not recordable. God is a gracious and forgiving God, I say this because of the stroke of divine luck that fell on me over the next few hours. This is what happened. I winced and moaned my way out of the cancer clinic and into the van. Yes, this was the only time Jody has been unable to accompany me to an appointment!! I drove to UBC Hospital emergent care. I parked in the Regent College parking lot & walked like a neanderthal junkie to the hospital. This is about 250 meter trek. The anguish and embarassment I suffered was worth the free parking. Once inside the building they fast tracked me into an isolation room ( I guess I was talking too much ) Within minutes I was seen by a doctor and was introduced to nurse Anne. She was my divine luck. Anne has been a nurse since 1979 and was 10 years in the burn unit where she gained experience in cleaning and bandaging burns in sensitive areas. No one else could have the knowledge and skills to give me the treatment that I needed. Thank God for Anne. That was two weeks ago, things have settled down enough to allow me to walk around the block like a modern man.
I am concerned about missing chemo treatment but the oncologist is not. Her reasoning is quite simple. If the chemo drugs are still producing a rash then they must be still working on the cancer cells. Medical reasoning at it's best.

Road block

I was in the cancer clinic yesterday and showed off my red peeling swollen rash to whoever needed to see it.
The outcome is that we will miss the next round of chemo to deal with the rash before it gets infected. The way we are going to deal with the rash is cover the area with burn dressing and have a home care nurse change it daily. I’m disappointed that we need to interrupt the chemo regime but if an infection starts in me the chemo is stopped so better interrupt than stop. I’m wearing burn dressing now and there is some relief – much better. We are praying for quick healing and a continuation of treatment.

Rounding the Curve

Can you see the smile on my face? Can you sense the joy in my heart? The tumours are shrinking! This is news gleaned from the CT scan taken last week. Dr. Ho gave us an overview of the images and a rundown of the numbers as she inserted a sincere and subtle “Thank God.” I had three tumours in my head. Now, the scan shows one tiny mass behind my eye and a larger mass filling my whole skull. (I hope the big one is my brain) This is the result of the 5 radiation treatments I had back in April – radiation has been active in my head all this time. The chemotherapy drugs are doing their work too. The lung tumour is breaking up and of the 3 lesions in my liver 2 are specks and one is smaller. Our Chemo Capers are rounding a bend.
Now I need to stay in the healing mode as we see how God’s work continues to amaze us.
Negotiating this curve on our journey can be like taking corners on a motorcycle. When you are riding into a curve, reduce your speed before starting to lean into the turn. Then give it throttle as you are coming out of the bend. Timing is key. When you lean and begin to accelerate will determine if you come out of the corner with a thrill or a spill. Spinning rubber with tires down or shooting sparks with your feet up.
My point is –it is time to give glory to God and stay focused on the healing mode.
Looking at the big picture – it just doesn’t seem fair. Why do I have to deal with a terminal disease like lung cancer? It is not fair that I live my life with a wonderful wife, a fantastic family and loads of supportive friends.
It is not about being fair. Like in a hockey game. The game would be fair if you gave each team their own puck before you blew the whistle to start the game. Kind of stupid but fair.

I have been given all this as my life to live with Him who gave it to me.

The best before date.

You probably don't know this bit of information that I'm going to share with you because I haven't told many people. Just Jody and Bob who were there at the clinic with me when the oncologist gave us a run down on where we were at with things.This was back in March when I first became a cancer patient, Dr.Ho said what she said when she first met me because I asked what I asked. My question was, " I have a large non-small cell carcinoma tumour in my lung. The cancer is in stage 4 and has spread to other parts of my body...." Then I stumbled around for the words to finsh my question which I didnt want to know the answer to. " What - where does this - is there a time line?" At this point Dr. Ho, almost blurted out, "12 weeks to 5 years." Then she comprehensively gave us a background on statistics and how they come into being. Learning what I did about statistics - I felt that it was a mute question so I didn't let "12 weeks to 5 years" be my guide. However, it does light the trail differently.
All a somber subject, eh?
But, if we take the 12 weeks - we can say that I'm past my expiry date. Like food in your fridge. Open the jar a take a whiff. That's just like me. Let's see, 12 weeks would have been sometime around the Benefit Concert June 11. That was a great party! Good thing I was still on the best before side of life while I was hugging all of you. I'm still good for hugs - I just won't be as fresh with you as I was before the expiry date.
Does best before mean worst after ?


Jody and I are very thankful and would like to extend our gratitude to the saints who sponsored our time away. We had a short vacation in July to recharge our energy. This is a photo of us with some local people we met while we were away.



Actually, we were all waiting for the BC Ferry to take us to Victoria! The group we were visiting with are a soccer team here for the F.I.F.A. Tournament during that week.

Terminal

This photo is me with my latest side effect. A rash. It starts on my face then tapers off as it reaches my knees. It's itchy - I am uncomfortable with it. Yes that is how I will describe it - uncomfortable. There are other words that I could use to describe this condition.


One word I did think about was terminal, this word could be used but it has a dark and final meaning that sends chills up and down the spine. This horror movie effect that has been instilled in us from the likes of Vincent Price and Stephen King. So frightening because it is T-E-R-M-I-N-A-L !
But wait a minute it is just one of the meanings of the word termial. Let's not forget that a terminal is a place where people go to get on an airplane or a bus or a train. They leave their baggage for someone else to deal with and the climb aboard and head off for their destination. You stand in the terminal and wave good bye and cry a tear because it's quite possible you will never see them again. Oh, I guess this could have a dark and final meaning to it also.
How about, terminal - a device for changing the flow of electricity or any moving energy. As the energy moves through the terminal, the switch is moved and the energy is stopped and never will continue it's original path because of the terminal. Gee, that sounds dark and final too. So, let's forget the the word terminal. My rash is just uncomfortable.

I think I need a nick name to acknowledge my new look - Terminal Head ? Flakey Face ? Rash Hole ? I'm open to suggestions.
I'll be back on line next week.

Hung Over

The trial has begun. I am now in the cluches of the best clinical cancer Doctors and nurses that this country has to offer. They want to know when I sleep , wake-up. How much I eat or drink. It is a little intrusive but considering the situation I can put up with that much loss of privacy. The main story here is the drugs. Once a week I'm in the chemo chair for a 2 hour drip of cetuximab and benadryl (to prevent an allergic reaction) Every 3rd week I'm in the chair for 3 hours receiving cetuximab with a chaser of pemetrexed. Dr. Ho the oncologist said that I had no proplem with the first round of chemo so she is not worried about how I'm going to handle this trial. I think she is wringing her hands with glee as she and her collegues watch me boil over in some chemotherapy crescendo. A funny thought from a dungeon scene from any B grade movie. Actually, Dr. Ho really has no mad scientist in her that I can see. I truly believe she is an oncologist so she can help people cure cancer and see colours that they have never seen before. Dr. Ho has been very caring and informative to Jody and I throught our whole time at the cancer clinic.

BIG Thank you !

Monday June 11 was a huge success on all accounts. The Kits auditorium was sold out and everyone had a fabulous time. See, I told you that it was going to be lots of fun. I would like to share some photos from the Friends of Meeks Variety Show.

John Kaplan

Sand and Mike Battie with special guest Art Ross.

Bing Jensen

Ray Roch

Neale Bacon

Charlotte Diamond

Jim Raddysh

Nelson Kaplan


Iain Duncan

Norma McKnight

Mike Battie

Paul Hann

Meeks Family Circus

Side Effect

This is one side effect that no one told me about and one that I never expected. An infection in my arm from having so many needle pokes. Too many blood tests and IV hook ups left me with a swollen and sore left elbow. I called the nurse at the cancer clinic and their advise to me was to have my GP look at it. Dr. Miller fit me in to his busy day on Monday and wanted me to go to the ER to have an ultra sound and/or antibiotics (IV antibiotics? ok, I'm not afraid.) This past Monday was "VGH annual why hurry day". Jody and I checked in the ER at 12:30 and did the first of 3 IV antibiotic treatments then left the ER at 7:00pm. We were assured that it was especially busy in the ER that day and when we returned for the other IV antibiotic treatments we would be fast tracked. We were. We went back on Tuesday and Wednesday and things were much faster. However, on Monday I noticed lots of standing around and Tuesday and Wednesday there seemed to be professional people moving around the hospital. So we got through that with a bottle of horse pills that I need to take 4 times a day. Jody says any day not in a hospital is a good day.
Officially I have volunteered for the chemotherapy trial that I mentioned last week so now I have to go through more tests to see if I actually qualify. Either way, I will begin treatments June 20. Pray that these drugs will do what they are supposed to do against the cancer. Pray also for me as I recover from these drugs and begin the rest of my life.

Changed again

Things can change and this time we are ready. The results from my CT scan showed cancer growth over the last few weeks. Somewhat disheartening news at first, then as time goes on we see that this is just another bump on the journey through life. So here we are, gazing into hope and staring down fear. The fear is that even while I had gemcitabene and carboplatin chemo drugs active in my system the cancer did grow. The hope is that we are still on the healing path that Jesus put us on months ago. The miracle path. Not just a chemo miracle, not just Mikey fights for a miracle - but it is a chemo, fighting Mikey, Jesus miracle path. Here is some news about the chemo. We have been given an option to become part of a clinical study to test the effects of Pemetrexed or Docetaxel and each one could be trailered with Cetuximab. So, that is what I am doing today. Sitting at home researching and wondering what to do with my life while I decide about joining this study. This has been very helpful for me to write to you all as I sort this out. It is like a litereary counsellor's couch without being interrupted by anyone's opinions.
If this is the direction we take, we will begin a new protocal of chemotherapy starting within the next two weeks. Changed again.

Gazing into hope or staring down fear.

May 24 I had a CT scan to determine just how well the chemo treatments are working before I start the next round May 30. Have you ever had a CT scan? It's simple from the patient's perspective - lie down, get the I.V. , hold your breath then get up. The technology is amazing. It takes high def xray photos that can be viewed in millimeter vertical slices. May 29 we will meet with the oncologist to get the results that show if or how much the tumours are shrinking. I had the scan on Thursday at 7:30 AM. Left the house at 6:45, rode my bike along 10th ave with the commuters without feeling the challenge to pass anyone. (I'm changing). Then drank the required 800ml of water while I waited for the technician to warm-up the CT machine. This would be a good spot for a Lucille Ball comedy routine with some pyrotechniques don't you think? or is that something only I would think about.

Sitting there, I got talking with another cancer patient - this really happened. Cancer patient to cancer patient can be a refreshing conversation. It's like, "Cut the crap, we both know that life is short and could be shorter." Sure enough, this guy - about my age, never got his name - and I got right into it. His story is that he has been doing battle with adenocarcinoma lung cancer for 2 years. It started in one lung. He had surgery. Then spread to the other lung. He had surgery again then started chemo treatments. While on chemo the cancer spread to his kidney. The doctors were stumped and gave him the option to be part of a study that was working on rats. So he signed a stack of forms and got started as the big rat. What would you do? That was 18 months ago. He is back at work taking days off for treatments and tests. Living with a deadly disease.

Nurse Lucy had the machine all warmed up she called my name and when I came out he went in for his CT. I hope to cross paths with him again.

Since then, I have thought about his situation in relation to me here waiting for the results from my CT. My gut feel on this whole disease is that I am going to live for a few years yet, like 20 or more. I have a positive attitude. However, let's be honest, these results I'm waiting for, could show a different situation. Untill I have more information I could be just kidding myself with a positive gut feel attitude. Will I be gazing into hope or staring down fear? I think it will always be both. We are not alone. He is with us.

A lesson from one of life's cycles.

Plant your garden with the the new moon in May.
This Wednesday is the time to put your plants in the garden - green side up. Why Wednesday ? The plant's life cycle. If you try to understand this life cycle it has to do with the water table and the tides, but just know that when you plant your garden on the new moon it has a much better chance of growing into something that will feed you with beauty and snacks. Harvest the garden on the full moon in August, I think - I need to check with my sources, it could be September. This cycle is like all other cycles, it has it's own timing and anyone relying on it has to wait for the cycle to take it's own course.
Here is another plant cycle story. Our street is lined with mature Magnolia trees. Each spring they are a wedding arbour of fragrant, full and beautiful white flowers. The tree in front of our house is the biggest on the block. I think because the natural drainage brings the richest water table to this part of the block. This year the tree in front of our house is the deadest on the block. No flowers, no leaves, just bare branches drying in the wind for the carpenter. What happened ? The cycle of life for the trees changed and no one seemed to care to notice. We had a hot dry summer - at least for west coast standards - which effected the water table. The tree was just too big to be sustained by the lesser amount of water. If anyone had turned on the garden hose and left it at the base of the tree for 10 minutes a day things would be different for that tree. Mr. Magnolia would not have to be seeing the arbourist for his chainsaw treatments this summer.
It is just a tree's cycle , but what is the lesson ?

Get your tickets early.
There is a cycle of promotion that is in motion and will easily get to it's goal filling the Kits auditorium.
My friend John Kaplan tells me that things are rolling right along with the upcoming "Friends of Meeks" benefit show and wanted me to let our close friends know that if they want to attend they should reserve their tickets right away. He's worried that there won't be enough seats for everyone wishing to attend and I would be disappointed if anybody close to us was unable to get into the show. I have some tickets that we will be selling at All Nations on Sunday, they're also being sold at the Kitsilano Community Centre or you can reserve through a 24-hr phone line at 604-521-6780.

Don't wait for the arbourist to call!

Volunteers Needed

My friend and collegue John Kaplan, has made the gracious offer to me and my family to spend hours of his time producing a Fund Raising Variety Show. Indeed, John is a gracious human being. But, he also could saw you in half and make you disappear. (I've seen it with my own eyes!) He has managed to assemble a great line up of professional entertainers who want to volunteer their time to share their wares in the show. Have a look ...

http://www.fundraisingmagic.com/FriendsofMeeks.htm

For those of you who want to help, you could find something to do here. I understand that back stage and front of house duties need to be covered on show day Monday June 11 . Then getting the word out during the weeks leading up to the show with flyers delivered, posters put up and canvasing for donated items to a silent auction. And, sell tickets to your friends and family or buy tickets for your friends and family. However you can help would be appreciated, but definitely come to the show. You have my personal guarantee you will have lots of fun.

Interested in helping?

contact John

John Kaplan
Abracadabra Show Productions, Inc.
383 - 13988 Cambie Rd, Richmond BC V6V 2K4
ph(604)521-8804
fx(604)278-8549
email johnkaplan@fundraisingmagic.com

ticket reservation line at 604-521-6780

Round # 2 Begins

Wednesday May 9 I will begin my next 21 day chemo therapy cycle by main-lining 500ml of carboplatin and 500ml of gemcitabine. These two drugs will work together in my body by attacking the fast growing cells for the next 10 days.
They will hack away at the cancer wherever it is found. (I see a scene from the movie Brave Heart.) Then on day 8 I hook up to the i. v. bag again for a reinforcement of 500ml of carboplatin. ( I see William Wallace in Brave Heart leading a charge of fresh warriors.)
The timing of this and the drugs that I get is my own personal protocol that was worked out for me by the doctors at the cancer clinic.
Now, I want to tell you about my neighbour. (Another affirmation of God with us.) His name is Jim. He is a bright, experienced man with a sharp whit and a warm heart. We greet when we meet on the street and share stories. My boys and I help he and his wife with small chores when we can.
Two weeks ago Jim came to our door to say that he has heard about our situation and would like to come in to talk. After a minute or two we find out that Jim is the recently retired Head of Oncology at the BC Cancer Agency in Vancouver. He and his colleagues have spent the last 35 years developing the drugs and protocols involved in treating cancer with chemotherapy. Let's just say that he would have knowledge about our situation.
He came over that day to give me a hug and say that if he could be of any help just ask. As a matter of fact I got two hugs from him that day and I called him during the lung bleed episode in the first round of chemo for some much valued information. Now, we are on to round #2. Day one is Wednesday May 9 and day eight will be Wednesday May 16 then 14 days is the therapy time to let the drugs do their work and me to recover. May 30 will be day one of round #3 chemo. There will be 6 rounds in total in this protocol which will bring us to some time in August. It is time for the battle to begin. For life!! CHARGE !!!

Letting Go.

Happy Birthday Kyle. He has completed 19 years of growing up. It has been so fast. I can remember when he was .... Oh, I better not get started.

For his birthday Kyle will enjoy an all expense paid trip to Fort McMurry, Alberta to attend the annual Spring Carnival held at the Thickwood Recreation Complex. He and one other travelling companion will stay at the Nomad Inn and they both will be treated to sandwiches, doughnuts and bottled water back stage between shows and return to Vancouver with a monetary bonus.

Actually Kyle and Brady are covering this out of town gig for a weak and queezy Meeks the Clown. The Meeks Brothers Juggling Duo are stepping up for 2 stage shows and 2 hours of roving entertainment. It was an easy sell to the agent from Edmonton who has seen them perform together. They have worked hard and put together a great show for Fort McMurry.

I'm seeing that passing a baton requires letting go. God speed boys !

Blessings in difficult times

My family and I thank you for the love and support you are sharing wth us in our time of need. It is so good to know we are loved. We love you.
This whole ordeal is God’s work. We Meekings are just in the middle of it. Now, you are compassionately jumping in with us. Weeks ago, after initial news went out to people, honest heartfelt support started rolling in. This showed me that God is working.
People would say to me, “I don’t usually pray, but I will pray for you Mike.” Cool, I thought, people getting closer to God.
Another wonderful response, “You know when Jacob wrestled with the angel of the Lord and would not let go until the Lord blessed Jacob? That is what my family is doing for you Mike.” Wow, such intensity for God.
Friends, whatever you to decide to share as a gift is part of God’s work. He knows what is going on and He knows what He is doing. Your gift is between you and Him. It is really none of our family’s business. This has been an awkward thing to say because it is an awkward situation.
I am praying for all of us that as we cozy up to God each and every one of us will be touched by the gravity of His presence and His infinite wisdom and love for us all.

Radiation - a profitable resourse

Those of you who have asked about our financal situation, Mike thinks that he has come up with a sure fire win-win answer for a home business. Here its is. We will be selling the Meeks home radiation kit. Have a look...

Seriously, a "helps" account has been set up for us at:

Bank of Montreal

Broadway & Arbutus Branch

Transit # 2713

Account # 8215-151

Two of five consecutive radiation treatments to the lung (at the CANCER CLINIC!) are complete. The bleeding has decreased considerably!

Thanks for your support & prayers.

God with us.....

Friday April 20 has been an eventful day. One background detail I should add is that since I have had this condition I have been moving bloody mucus from my lungs. My oncologist Dr. Ho said that, "This goes with the disease however, if anything changes please let me know."
So, on Friday there were changes. Lets just call it an episode that left me with a bleeder in my lung. I called Dr. Ho at 8am. She doesn't begin her day at the cancer clinic until 9am. But, on Friday she had an early meeting. This caused her to be near her desk during the exact 2 minutes when I called. Our conversation was a good exchange of information then she sent us to Vanc. General after sending ahead our paper work. The emergency nurses expediently put us in a room then off for a chest xray within 20 minutes. Before another 30 minutes passed there was a team of respiroligists checking me up and down. The respiroligists told me they could do a bronchosopy to see what was bleeding inside the lung and if this was done by a surgeon, the bleeding could be controlled by a procedure. So, contact to a group of Surgeons who were in the hospital was made. While waiting to hear from a surgeon, I had a nap! Dr. Ho arrived and spent about 20 minutes sharing her take on the situation and answering our questions before going to see another patient in VGH. She returned with news that on her way to visit her patient she rode the elevator with one of the surgeons who was contacted, so they had a face to face meeting about my situation. The decision was made that the surgical route was too invasive and radiation treatment on the lung tumour would be the best option. So, now it is 2:30. Dr. Ho will contact the cancer clinic to see when we can start the radiation treatment possibly Saturday or Monday. No luck getting through. Jody and I are told that we'll get a call when something is set up. Dr. Ho leaves. Jody goes to make some calls to update friends but comes right back to say, she heard a nurse on the phone with the cancer clinic for Dr. Ho. We wait and try listen to the call. Dr. Ho returns to say," You have a radiation appointment at 3:00 down the street at the cancer clinic." Transport came for us. This is an orderly with a wheel chair. The route to the cancer clinic is a series of elevators and hallways 3.5 blocks long. One of the hallways was very long, narrow and low. I was sitting in the chair with Jody walking beside me. Looking up at her in the low narrow hallway she looked quite big!!

Chemo Begins

I have been approached by friends to look into certain diet regimes to build my resistance to cancer. Thank you, it is good. Jody and I have been clean living for 25 years and believe in strong mind, body and spirit. It goes to show that we have only so much control over our lives.
God is at work and I happen to be in the middle of His job site while He is using the big machinery. I will be open to whatever God has planned for my healing as He leads me.
For now – out with the holistic and in with the ballistic. Wednesday I began six 21 day cycles of chemotherapy treatment.

A quote from the sunny streets of Kitsilano. A catholic grama on my street said to me," Mike I am praying for you. Now you go fight like hell."

Radiation to the brain, completed.

I have completed 5 radiation treatments. From my perspective the actual treatment is nothing. One minute beam on one side then one minute beam on the other then it is over. The science is that the radiation just keeps on working killing the cancer cells . During this time I have been taking a steroid medication. It is true what they say about steroids - it is an upper like cocaine. Those who know me , can you imagine me on uppers? I have organised some cupboards .It has been a trip for my family to deal with this hyped up guy who thinks he needs to say what he thinks and even when he doesn't think. It also increases the appetite, so in two weeks I have gained 10 pounds. I have been struggling with hand stands now I know why - I'm getting fat. Not what you would expect when fighting lung cancer. This whole thing is so weird to me. Here is a photo of Bill and I - he won the belly prize.

February 18 - April 14 updates

This photo taken at Kits Beach April 14. Bald heads on Mike , Brady Alex and Kyle. New short cut for Kayla. Jody and Aunt Penny fully supportive.

Here is the story of our journey since February. These entries are taken from Emails to friends and family over this time.

February 18, 2007
I have some news. I had a chest xray last week and it shows that I have a mass on the upper lobe of my left lung. Scary. Wednesday Feb.21 I will have a scope to see what it is. It could be a fungus, TB or some kind of tumor. Whatever it turns out to be I'm going to get rid of it in the swiftest way possible.
So much for clean living - I'm thinking that partying was the way to go. Not really, now I'm strong, otherwise healthy and ready to do battle.
The reason I had a chest xray was last weekend while playing (roller) hockey I was on the bench working on my usual lung butter and it got redder and redder. I thought "Man, I'm sick."

Now I'm ready for the next game of afflictionary. You know when people talk about what ails them - This one could be a topper.
So, pray for me and I'll keep you posted.

February 21, 2007
I just got back from having a bronchoscopy test done. What that is, is a tube down your throat and into your lungs with a fiber optic and a camera. I was awake when they did it so I could see inside my own lungs. Like on Discovery Channel I watched the whole thing on a monitor and noticed every time I gagged the camera would jump all over the place.
I didn't really know what I was looking at but I asked the doctor to talk while he was doing the test.There is definately something there. I could see a well defined blob just at the top of my right lung. Last email I told you left lung - I must have looked at the xray backwards.This thing is inside my lung floating around and pretty much blocking air to my right lung. No wonder I have felt tired for the past year. I thought I was getting old.
Anyway, this blob is a tumor.They took some pieces of it to test to see what kind of tumor. I may have the results before the end of the week.

February 23,2007
I have preliminary results from the biopsy.The cells do not look like cancer. Preliminary results means that there are other tests that have yet to be completed. And my doctor said that they may want to get more cells from the middle of the mass. So this news is good so far but not complete news. It does confirm how I have been feeling about it. We are relieved - I suggested we should celebrate with cigars. Once more I will keep you posted when hews comes in. Contact me any time.

March 1, 2007
Today Jody and I went to see the lung specialist who did the brochoscopy last week. We went to get the results from the biopsy that he took. The results are inconclusive. They did gleen enough information to say that it is a tumor in my lung. The lung specialist is certain that it can be removed so he has sent us onto a Thoracic Surgeon. While we were waiting to see when the appointment would be with this next specialist I was asked if 2:00 today was ok. Sure I said.The short story is that this next specialist is going to cut it out of me but only after he does some more tests to confirm if it is cancer then what type it is and what stage it is at and if there is any more in other parts of my body. There are 4 tests I need to do. Blood test (done), brochoscopy (again for bigger deeper biopsys), CT scan (star wars-cigar tube), lung function (tubes and treadmill). All this is to happen before Thursday next week.

March 8, 2007
Monday March 26 is my surgery date. Dr. Finley is the surgeon. Today he did a bronchoscopy (my second, but the first that Dr. Finley did on me). The reason for the second was the results of the biopsies were inconclusive from the first one last week. When they take the piece off the tumour they have a fiber optic to see right up close. Right after the test he made an appointment for Jody and I to have a meeting with him later in the day. He says that he is 93% sure that it is cancer. Once he is able to take the whole thing out then there will be tests to say for sure. Also, when he takes out the tumour he will test the lymph nodes as well to see if there is cancer in other parts of my body.
93 % , where did he get that number? I'm sure it has some psychological effect. Anyways folks, please cosy up to God on my behalf and pray for me - it works! Monday March 26 - I have always hated Mondays.

March 16, 2007
Since the surgeon told us he was 93% sure we are dealing with cancer, things have changed. Now, as of today, Friday March 16, the latest test results are in. The biopsy that was taken of the tumor came back as necrotic (dead) cells - no cancer found in the tumor. Great news.
However, the CT scan showed spots on my liver. One big and a few small. The CT scan showed swollen lymph nodes around the brochial tubes. This called for a liver biopsy, which I had today - if I was still a bartender, I would mix Newfie Screech, Amaretto and Scotch, pour it over a tequila worm and call it a liver biopsy - it may go down just as easily! - I think I had some "discomfort" that they said I might experience. We will wait for the results of this latest test. They need to determine exactly what they are dealing with before they do any surgery. Confused yet?
Thanks to all of you for your love, support & prayers...we need it all.
More later.


March 20, 2007
Today, we were called in to see the surgeon. Now, we will backtrack. He was right about the tumour. It is cancer. The biopsy done last Friday on Mike's liver showed cancer. It originated in his lung but this tumour has "outgrown" itself and is now dead cells. There will be no surgery for now. Mike has been referred to an Oncologist. He is on the "Urgent" list and awaiting an appointment. The surgeon thinks chemotherapy will be the way. They may also do radiation on the tumour in the lung. All this is speculation for now.
We will need your ongoing support and thank you for it.


March 30, 2007
Well, we thought we wouldn't be writing for awhile, at least until the chemotherapy treatments had begun.
The direction has changed a bit. Mike went for a pre- booked CT Scan of his head today. The results were not good. It revealed three tumours in his brain.
The chemo is on hold now and he will receive five consecutive radiation treatments on his head starting early next week. After radiation is complete he will then begin chemotherapy.
We know we are in the Lord's hands and believe it's amazing that Mike has been able to function so well despite all this being undetected for so long (they say years.)
My prayer in the beginning was that the Doctors would have wisdom as they treated him and that ALL the cancer would be revealed..............
So, since we're praying for a MIRACLE why not pray for a BIG MIRACLE.
Mike has said many times through this that he loves laughing with people and now everyone is sad & it's because of him. He's so concerned about everyone else.
Thanks once again for your love, prayers & support during such a trying time.

April 2, 2007
Thanks for your concern. We are doing well considering the circumstances. Lots is going on and seems to be changing day by day. We are discovering this all now but actually I have had cancer growing in me for 6-8 years. Go figure.
The day by day routines have changed quite a bit. I'm not working. Not driving. I'm taking it easy because I get tired. ( sounds like a holiday doesn't it.) Waiting for appointment schedules. The big picture has not changed but is now in sharper focus. My family is still the most important to me. This is God's richest blessing in my life and still is during this time of crisis. My health has always been important to me - death is still the ememy. Just now it seems a little closer than it was 2 months ago, but actually back then I was only kidding myself - who really knows.

April 14, 2007

My hair is coming off my head by the handful. Today we will shave it off. Kyle, Alex and Brady have been preparing for this day. It is Jody's birthday - Party shave Saturday.