First I must say it's a little intimidating to say the least writing an entry on Michael's creative masterpiece. However, it's been a few weeks now and those creative juices have not been flowing so you'll all have to accept my humble attempt to share the nitty gritty!
It's been a difficult few weeks for us all but we continue to laugh together and find joy each day.
Firstly, I want to thank all of you that have loved us through prayer, gifts, food and driving our kids to and from school!! It would not be possible for me to be at Mike's side through all this if it wasn't for all your practical support.
April 22 marked the beginning of this new chemo adventure for us. That was the day Mike had day surgery to have his porta-catheter "installed" in his chest. With most other procedures I have been able to be with him till right before and again right after. This time was different. I had to say good-bye on the other side of the curtain! When I returned to pick Mike up the nurse came to get me and said "Are you really walking home?" So far we have been able to walk to and from the cancer clinic and VGH for most appointments and chemotherapy. It has been "our" time before and after. It's been a challenge sometimes (3K each way) but so far we've accomplished this. So, I responded "yes" and she looked concerned. She assured me he was fine but she thought it was too far to walk. I asked if I could talk with Mike and assess his ability. As I entered behind the "curtain" there he was standing in his hospital gown, IV intact and wanting food! The 3 other patients there, two doctors and a nurse all turned to look at me..........who could this person be with this guy?!!!!!!!! I smiled and quietly asked "What did you do?!" After some time we convinced them he was okay and they agreed to release him. And yes, we did walk home.
Chemotherapy began on April 30. It is a 24 hour infusion which involves a "hook-up" at the cancer clinic and then wearing the pump home in a purse overnight. I teased him relentlessly that week......first it was make-up and tights and NOW it's pumps, purses and hair stubble on your legs (his hair is returning after last chemo!) The medicine is light sensitive and the iv bag and tubing is covered in a dark plastic sheathing which took some getting used to while trying to sleep. The pump itself sounds like it is taking a photo every 10 seconds. This also took some getting used to. The following day we return to the clinic to get "un-hooked". There are blood tests that need to be done every 3 days as well. All of this is very time consuming.
May 28 marked the end of two cycles of chemo. A CT Scan is set for June 5. We will find out the results of the scan on June 10. If there has been less than 20% growth of the tumours then Mike will have the option of remaining on the chemotherapy. If there is any growth beyond 20% they will take him off.
At the moment his biggest struggle is pain. His liver is sore because of the stretching (the tumour was measuring 15cm) and his joints, muscles and hips cause him grief. He coughs readily. This month he has received 2 blood transfusions as his hemoglobin dipped quite low. This is very common for those on chemo. The symptoms are low energy, tiredness and shortness of breath. He experiences all of these. However, he hasn't noticed any change since the transfusions.
In our 25 years together I have never seen Michael slow. I have cried from morning till night many days feeling helpless and dealing with the fact that I can't change anything for him. Then there are the few days where he power washes our bus, does a clown show, we go to the beach, watch Kyle & Alex's hockey games, cheer Kayla on at soccer, teach Brady to drive or visit with friends. He may be slow but he's a STRONG man.
We are meeting with a pain management team soon. They will look at Mike's situation and set up a more manageable medicine regime for him.
This has been such a painful yet rich experience. We have met so many wonderful people. Heard so many stories. Touched and been touched by many. We've examined ourselves. Our beliefs. Our God.
We all know we will never be the same. We continue to hope for the best, wait for the miracle and yet prepare for the possible. We've likened it to having one foot on each side of the tracks.
We could never do it alone. And we are not.
Love you all,
Jody (for Mike & all)
