A Celebration of Michael's Life

Meeking, Michael Douglas

June 16, 1961 - June 16, 2008

On his 47th birthday, Michael "Meeks the Clown" went to be with our Lord Jesus.

He passed peacefully with his wife, Jody, and children Kyle, Alex, Brady and Kayla at his side.

We will always remember Mike's fun-loving smile and huge heart towards everyone he knew. We appreciate his courage and strength, which has given us the ability to continue to smile and laugh as we carry on.

A celebration in Michael's honour will be held on June 28th at Jericho Hill Centre Gymnasium (4196 W. 4th Ave.) Service will begin at 1:00pm with a casual family picnic to follow. Bring your lawn chairs, blankets and lunches!

The Penthouse Suite

  

On Wednesday June 11 Michael was admitted to the Palliative Care Unit at Vancouver General Hospital. After almost one full week of trying to manage his new pain medication it was suggested by his oncologist that we "book" in for a couple of days to get things sorted out.

We were blessed with a large double room on the 16th floor with an amazing view and a rooftop garden patio. There was lots of room for our entire family, his four sisters and closest friends for the next six days.

These six days were full of laughter, tears, memories and reminiscing.

After a few days of changing Michael's medication it became evident that the symptoms he was experiencing were due to his rapidly progressing disease. By Saturday we could see the obvious decline in Mike's kidneys and liver.

On Sunday June 16 his 47th birthday Michael went to be with our Lord. We spent the morning celebrating with him. We teased him that he wanted a party with us on earth and again in heaven!

He passed on very peacefully with his family and his dear friend "Pastor Bob" at his side.

To say that we will miss him would never be enough. He has created a legacy. He has blessed many. He was a strong and courageous man in every way. We will carry on with smiles because he has given us the strength to do so. It has been an honour to be his wife.

There will be a Celebration Service within the next few weeks. We will publish the info on the blog. Look forward to seeing you there!

Pumps and Purses

First I must say it's a little intimidating to say the least writing an entry on Michael's creative masterpiece. However, it's been a few weeks now and those creative juices have not been flowing so you'll all have to accept my humble attempt to share the nitty gritty!

It's been a difficult few weeks for us all but we continue to laugh together and find joy each day.

Firstly, I want to thank all of you that have loved us through prayer, gifts, food and driving our kids to and from school!! It would not be possible for me to be at Mike's side through all this if it wasn't for all your practical support.

April 22 marked the beginning of this new chemo adventure for us. That was the day Mike had day surgery to have his porta-catheter "installed" in his chest. With most other procedures I have been able to be with him till right before and again right after. This time was different. I had to say good-bye on the other side of the curtain! When I returned to pick Mike up the nurse came to get me and said "Are you really walking home?" So far we have been able to walk to and from the cancer clinic and VGH for most appointments and chemotherapy. It has been "our" time before and after. It's been a challenge sometimes (3K each way) but so far we've accomplished this. So, I responded "yes" and she looked concerned. She assured me he was fine but she thought it was too far to walk. I asked if I could talk with Mike and assess his ability. As I entered behind the "curtain" there he was standing in his hospital gown, IV intact and wanting food! The 3 other patients there, two doctors and a nurse all turned to look at me..........who could this person be with this guy?!!!!!!!! I smiled and quietly asked "What did you do?!" After some time we convinced them he was okay and they agreed to release him. And yes, we did walk home.

Chemotherapy began on April 30. It is a 24 hour infusion which involves a "hook-up" at the cancer clinic and then wearing the pump home in a purse overnight. I teased him relentlessly that week......first it was make-up and tights and NOW it's pumps, purses and hair stubble on your legs (his hair is returning after last chemo!) The medicine is light sensitive and the iv bag and tubing is covered in a dark plastic sheathing which took some getting used to while trying to sleep. The pump itself sounds like it is taking a photo every 10 seconds. This also took some getting used to. The following day we return to the clinic to get "un-hooked". There are blood tests that need to be done every 3 days as well. All of this is very time consuming.

May 28 marked the end of two cycles of chemo. A CT Scan is set for June 5. We will find out the results of the scan on June 10. If there has been less than 20% growth of the tumours then Mike will have the option of remaining on the chemotherapy. If there is any growth beyond 20% they will take him off.

At the moment his biggest struggle is pain. His liver is sore because of the stretching (the tumour was measuring 15cm) and his joints, muscles and hips cause him grief. He coughs readily. This month he has received 2 blood transfusions as his hemoglobin dipped quite low. This is very common for those on chemo. The symptoms are low energy, tiredness and shortness of breath. He experiences all of these. However, he hasn't noticed any change since the transfusions.

In our 25 years together I have never seen Michael slow. I have cried from morning till night many days feeling helpless and dealing with the fact that I can't change anything for him. Then there are the few days where he power washes our bus, does a clown show, we go to the beach, watch Kyle & Alex's hockey games,  cheer Kayla on at soccer, teach Brady to drive or visit with friends. He may be slow but he's a STRONG man.

We are meeting with a pain management team soon. They will look at Mike's situation and set up a more manageable medicine regime for him.

This has been such a painful yet rich experience. We have met so many wonderful people. Heard so many stories. Touched and been touched by many. We've examined ourselves. Our beliefs. Our God.

We all know we will never be the same. We continue to hope for the best, wait for the miracle and yet prepare for the possible. We've likened it to having one foot on each side of the tracks.

We could never do it alone. And we are not.

Love you all,

Jody (for Mike & all)

  

God the Healer

First of all, I deeply appreciate all of you who are praying for me. Please continue to seek Him. I know these prayers, meditations and requests to God are what is keeping me alive day to day. 

My friend tells me that his 7 year old daughter prays and weeps for me daily. After 16 months of chemo therapy and prayer therapy, it begs the question - If God is the healer, why am I still sick ?

Possible answers -

1. God is not real, Jesus isn't who He said He is and miracles don't happen. There is no hope because the human race has been fooling themselves for all of time.

2. God is real but He doesn't like me because I was a bully in elementary school, a pot head in high school, I really haven't loved all my neighbours all the time, I pollute ... (I could go on)

3. He is on a business trip in the Middle East and will get to our prayers when things cool down there. 

Why am I still sick? Is a good question, along with - Why is there suffering in the world? Why do we allow people to hurt each other? Why do we argue over who God is and how to worship Him?  There are many more deep and meaningful questions. The answers are there, near Him in the garden of wisdom, waiting to be discovered by each of us. 

What would you say? Why am I still sick? Why should I suffer? The bible is filled with suffering. There are many stories of how one was called to serve but before they began being a prophet, king or leader of some kind they had a time of running from an army or living in the wilderness or surviving a famine. Read it, it is inspiring to see the human side of the God Book.

God is the healer, the source of life. Suffering has made me dependent on Him knowing this is my only hope. This is not a formula to memorize or a process to follow but the love between a father and his child. 

1932 Desoto

The future. We all want to know what's up before it happens. Nothing is ever for sure until it happens. My Uncle Don once said, "The only things you can count on actually happening in your lifetime are death and taxes." The other thing I learned from Uncle Don was how to start a 1932 Desoto. It is not always useful information that we glean from life's experiences. But without logical explanation certain things just stick to us through time. It stuck to me what my uncle had to say about death and taxes. It rings true doesn't it. It is not the type of truth that sets you free. But it is the truth. I heard from one of my cousins that Uncle Don died grumpy. Who can say where he was at the moment he stepped off the running board of time and space and into the great eternal drive through the country at a break neck 45 miles per hour. He loved his cars. I loved my Uncle Don. 

 I have some news from the recent past that rocks my present world and will effect the future when it comes.

Presently, there is cancer growing rapidly in my liver. Doubled in size over 6 weeks. Yikes. It's like I have been sitting on the porch of death's door for the past year talking through the door to our Lord. Now I'm thinking the door will open any minute and I'm going to meet Him! What would you do ? Take stock to see that you are still occupying space on the planet and carry on.

 What we are going to do is switch drug treatments. I will stop Tarceva, take a month break to let the chemicals flush out of my body. De-rashify. Then at the end of April if all things are equal (liver function & general health) I will begin another trial. This new trial protocol is different from anything so far because they will be installing a port so I can receive a 24 hour infusion of the AT9283(name of drug) once a week for 2 weeks then take a week off. A port installation is a quick surgical procedure where they tap into a major vein near my heart and leave a dock just under my skin to take the 24 hour infusion. Having a port restricts my activity because it is there 24/7. This was a major stumbling block for me to accept this trial. But something my uncle taught me is sometimes after market parts are needed to keep engines running smoothly.  I wasn't given much optimism about this trial drug as being a magic pill that will cure me. But it is my only option in actively treating my condition. Please pray for my healing.  So here we go riding into the future. I'll see you there.

The Future Ain't What It Used To Be

When our kids were little, the future seemed to take care of it's self. Now it seems to be much to contend with. Back then, what was important was today, the tasks we were attending to during that moment. Diapers and other small emergencies. You can imagine, if you haven't already been there. Then the next day just seemed to show up. Much like the next week and the next year and then the next decade. What?! Try 2 decades. 

This photo of us and our long time neighbours of 19 years. These 2 families that have navigated their way to the future. Which is now. We parents have arrived at the future with our heads spinning us into mid life. The "kids" look hungrily to what lies ahead barely considering how they got to that place in the future. Same room, same time, same families, different perspective. My perspective of the future certainly has changed. It is no longer mine to own. Not that it ever was, but I did believe that I had a place in the future - don't you? Isn't it part of the package? I think not. It is not in our control. However, some things are - like if you don't want to get hit by a bus, stay on the bus. Walk by faith - except at the cross walk.  Avoid getting cancer - don't smoke, eat well and get regular exercise.  Huh ? That's what I did and I got cancer. It is still good advice but it can't deliver you into the future. What can deliver us into the future ? Each moment, however boring and destructive or exciting and productive, the moment will carry you to the next. Then to the end of the day, eventually (maybe) the next season. 

Good luck.

Pressure to be positive

February 26 came and went without much fan fare. We did spent the day at the clinic but not for the expected CT scan. It was a scheduled chest xray. Initially I was disappointed because the CT produces a much more detailed set of images which offers reasonably concise information about what is going on inside my body. Apparently, it is not good for the body to have CT's too close together. My next one will be in April. The oncologist was concerned with how I was doing.

 "You look great." she said. That was even after I dropped my drawers to show off my rash. I was wearing biking shorts because I knew it would be a pants off day. My skin rash is the worst that anyone at the clinic has seen. This makes me "special" is what I'm thinking as I'm standing without pants on as comments fly like, "Oh, that must be so uncomfortable." and, "Does it sting?"

No change in the chest xray since the previous one, looking healthy and being positive are sure signs to the oncologist that the present treatment is working. So it is, I'm positive, I'm doing well. 

      

I was out to visit a friend in Burnaby last week. While I was there I brought him up to speed on my health situation. It turns out that he has had more than one family member succumb to cancer. My friend tells me there is a syndrome named after his family because of a certain kind of disease that is unique to his relatives. He has been tested. He and his kids aren't at risk. He has seen uncles, aunts, grandparents, parents and siblings battle successfully and not, with this disease. He said to me, "It's all up here." as he pokes the side of his head with a strong index finger.

I got it. Mental sharpness. Positive thinking. Stay above the negative stuff. Visualize wellness.  I used to think that positive thinking would help my truck start in the morning but the jumper cables made my ears bleed.

Is the glass half full or half empty? Attitude is important. I couldn't agree more with my friend in Burnaby.  

The reality that there is pressure to always be positive came up in our lung cancer support group.  It's all up to us and our attitudes. It's a heavy burden to carry. We see it on many.

Jody & I agree that we are so thankful that we have a strong and gracious God that carries our burdens. The plan for our lives isn't all up to us. We can be ourselves, positive or otherwise and seek to serve & trust Him better.