It's Tarceva until February 28

The CT from last week showed negative growth on the liver tumours. Negative growth is a term I just made up. But it sounds medical, something like a professional would say like non-small meaning big. Negative growth meaning shrinkage. This is good news meaning it is information that causes non-discouragement. I will continue for another month on the Tarceva. Next CT Scan will be Feb 26. We will continue to pray. Tuesday of that week Jody and I were at the clinic to get the results from Dr. Laskin. Before that, we had an earlier meeting with another Oncologist to consider what our options were to be if Tarceva wasn't working. Dr.Chi is the other oncologist who is running a stage 2 trial. He was interested in having me as a participant. A stage 2 trial is to establish a safe effective dosage of a certain cancer drug on humans not rats. I wanted to meet Sniffy the lab rat to assure him the trial was in good hands because I was going to take over from here. I'm sure he cared deeply. All kidding aside, after the meeting Jody and I were talking through the information about the new trial regime and the possible side effects of the new drug (which is referred to as a line of numbers- it doesn't have a name yet). I was scared but stoic. Jody looked worried but stayed positive. It was just 3 hours before we learned of the CT results but what a charged span of time. We were at a crossroad during that time. Possibly two routes laid out before us to choose from. Outwardly we smiled and were pleasant as we went shopping and had lunch. Inwardly was the rough bouncing ride of emotional reactions. Then a sense of wisdom, what's the big picture here? What can we draw from this? The lessons I'm learning in this health crisis are deepened by the severity of the experience that the ordeal brings. Jesus has me in school with this mid-life road trip. The avenue of the spirit is wide. If I listen to Jesus as I travel my steps are given direction and purpose. The road of the soul is long with many twists and turns. I make my decisions, to take the turn or keep going, run or rest. On the roads and avenues wherever this journey takes me, I am tracking out the time of my life. So far so lucky.

A note from Jody

This is an email Jody sent out today responding to a card we received for our 21st wedding anniversary. It says alot so I think you should read her mail too.

We had a good weekend, we spent two days at Harrison Hot Springs just past Abbotsford. They have really good off season pkgs. Friends of ours gave us a gift to use at the spa. I have never been to a spa!!
Michael enjoyed a massage and both days we had a "couples soak" That's a private spa room with a jacuzzi type tub with no jets, no chlorine just minerals and it's hot, hot, hot. They dim the lights, turn on the music and give you ice water. THEN....leave you alone for 20 minutes!!
It was soooo relaxing.
Today is back to the usual, grocery shopping etc. This week is full of clinic appts. Today Mike had a CT Scan and lab work. Tomorrow we'll find out the results, meet with his oncologist and meet another oncologist. The "next" level guy who runs chemotherapy trials. Depending on the CT results (what this oral chemo has been doing) aside from this CRAZY rash, he may have to decide from what other treatments are available.
Today I just wanted to hide.....I'm sure tomorrow will be worse. These are the challenges we face. We pray for great results but somehow try to prepare for the worst. It has almost been one year since this adventure began. It seems like a lifetime. For the most part, we are positive. Life goes on.
I know if anyone, you both can understand these emotions and struggles well.
Thanks for thinking of us. We'll connect once we have more info.
Have a great week.

P.S. I did receive Jody's permission to publish part her letter!

Anticipation

Here we are at day 21 of the Tarceva cycle. The rash is back on my legs as before but also there are dermatological cutaneous eruptions on my face. Pimples, big whiteheads like I had when I was eating fries and gravy every day from the high school cafeteria in 1977. I am quite sensitive to this and feel anxious about how I look to the world. Not as a 16 year old with a searing attitude eating fries and gravy but now in 2008 I need to put my best face forward and it's covered with whiskers and zits. I may need counseling to help me cope with acne in mid life. Who would I go to for that? Dr. Phil could have me on his show. If you have any advise short of wearing a paper bag over my head to hide my face, please pass it on.
Monday this coming week is the next CT scan. That's easily coped with because people will be looking at pictures of my insides not my pimply outsides. What will be seen in these high resolution x-rays is what causes anticipation. They will give us the opportunity to see any changes positive or negative that may have occurred over the past 6 weeks. The one thing in life that you can always count on is that things will change. I have my thoughts about how this is going to turn out but you never know. Is it good to know that you never know ? I don't know. We have to wait until Tuesday to get the results from Dr. Chi. Yes another Oncologist. Another trial drug comes with another trial Doctor. We meet on Tuesday for the first time and he will tell us what adventures may lay ahead after Tarceva.

Happy New Year !

The new year brings new challenges and new hope. Since December 31st I have been taking the new chemo, a daily Tarceva pill down the hatch into a empty stomach.- Kaboing! - Then the biological party begins. This chemo drug will find it's way through my body to the liver tumours. Here the drug does it's destructive duty by penetrating the cell membrane to undo the DNA of each cell. It messes with enzymes that the DNA use to tell the cell to reproduce. No reproduction - no happy cancer. I'm the same way. What genius. When Tarceva is in town lock up your DNA and hide your enzymes or your life cycle won't make it all the way around. This message hasn't reached the cancer cells yet but researchers have seen cancer build up a resistance so the chemo drugs become ineffective. That would be an unfortunate situation to find one self in so, we are taking Tarceva for 30 days. Just enough to give the liver lesions a nasty sting then float back before they know what happened. The chemotherapy is giving my body the tools it needs to heal itself. The more I research the more I discover that this is true. Other knowledge I've uncovered is that data from many studies has shown that the level of severity of skin rash is connected to the odds of survival. The worse the rash the better survival. I got it bad, that is good. New challenges and new hope.

Count your blessings. Here is me with mine. Very Merry Christmas to all !

If this is a time of giving for you, may I ask you to receive a gift from me. I'll give you a blessing. Not one of our kids, but a message from Benny Hill (the comedian from the 50's).
"Roses are reddish violets are blueish - If it wasn't for Christmas we would all be Jewish."
He was so right. Jesus is the difference.

TARCEVA !

What is Tarceva ?
insect larvae? - a comic book hero? - a small Greek Island ? - no - no - and no. Tarceva is one of the names of the new chemo drug that I will be switching to. The other name is Erlotinib. Yes, we are in a time of transition with the treatment of lung cancer. The CT Scan from last week showed cancer still growing in my liver. So that's what we got to do - whack the tumours in the liver. The last treatment of cetuximab was on Dec. 5 and I will start treatments with Tarceva on Dec. 28. It is a pill that I will take every day for 30 days.There will be a CT booked towards the end of the 30 days to mark the progress (please pray here). As it stands now, I will not be receiving chemo drug treatments from Dec. 5 to Dec. 28 while we switch the drugs. A nice break. The change over time gives my skin a chance to recover, because guess what a possible side effect is from Tarceva - skin rash. Ha ha ha , that's funny. Not really. Actually, the old drug and the new drug are similar in many ways except Tarceva attacks the cells from the inside of the cell. How ? It just does. TARCEVA!! to the liver tumours and beyond !

Lung Cancer Support Group

The Lung Cancer Support Group meets at the BCCA on the last Wednesday of every month. The group is the first ever in Vancouver and has only met 3 times. It brings together people with lung cancer and people supporting others with the disease. We are all so different. We come from different backgrounds, we are different ages and we are in different stages of the disease and treatment. But, I believe we all have so much in common. Fear, suffering, the need for support and the desire to help others. Not that we talk about it openly (yet).
With each person at a different place in their treatment, questions and insights on topics discussed vary. One fellow is quite candid with what he has to say, "Side effects? Everything I eat tastes awful. I'm losing weight." He is about 80 years old and he was accompanied by one of his daughters. I get the feeling from something he said, that cancer has changed him. What he said was so simple and sincere, "Love one another." Hearing that from this hard old man brought me to tears.
There is a woman who finished treatments 18 months ago and is now enjoying an early retirement. She is living with only one lung (as is another younger guy in the support group). The retiree shared from her perspective, how important a positive attitude was to her healing. She referred to herself as a cancer survivor and someone said that we are all cancer survivors. That's when the hard old man said "We don't let the non-survivors in." We all laughed heartily.
The topic for last weeks meeting was - How do we cope with cancer? I'll quote the hard old man "It's just another challenge for me to face and deal with."
I'm different from the general population in the support group because I have an appetite and don't feel nausea too badly. I have a serious skin rash (which is now causing swelling in my legs). Hows the rash? You may ask. It's ... kind of ... like ... um ... AHHHHHHHHHH! Get this skin off of me !
So, if you ask me that same question and you get a different answer, chances are that I'm being socially aware. Which is a good thing.
The ongoing saga of Meekings and ICBC has a development. We have replaced one van with a 2003 Mazda MPV. Jody and I are pleased with the purchase. As soon as the snow clears we will be back at it, hunting for a 2nd car. Please pray for the rash and the car.